Tuesday, January 31, 2012


This is a post to cover yesterday and today! I've been back to work so everything is cramming in! But doing this for Zac is a priority. It helps me get through my days, too. And i just love the idea of having this for Zac. Yesterday was a good day. Zac told me they would be arriving in Dutch Harbor, AK sometime shortly, which made me happy because it meant they made their first trek safe. I came home and had a great night with Dave and Shannon, and Gage of course. Shannon and I had a date too watch "The Bachelor" and we cooked! I made roasted seasoned asparagus and she made these amazing taco cups :) We just had a wonderful night altogether. I am a little upset though. I took so many great pictures last night and my camera is at home still and I'm at my moms :( so i will post them on here as soon as i go home. But we cant not have pictures! so here's a couple that i forgot to post of Gage since Zac has been gone:

hes my little boy now, not my baby :(

I'm always catching him in Tucker's dog food. I haven't caught him eating yet thank goodness!

Yesterday, Zac told me he was proud to be my husband. And that hit home with me. Someone saying they're proud of me has always touched my heart... but coming from the love of your life it was relationship- changing in a way. I felt so loved (even more) by the person I am so proud to call my husband.Thank you for saying that baby, it meant more that you will ever know.

Yesterday morning was the last message I had received from Zac, and I had been getting them about twice a day... so I got a little worried. Which i shouldn't, God is taking care of him. And I know this. But then today around 11.... Facebook said "Messages (1)" I PRAYED IT WAS HIM! And it was. He let me know he loved Gage and I, that he looked forward to seeing us soon; that they would be reaching Dutch Harbor today and that he started working 16 hour days tonight, bumping it up from 12. He also told me it was cold. I assured him that anything he needed and couldn't buy on the boat just to let me know and I would have a package mailed immediately. It was so nice hearing from him during my LONG day at work. We had our Starbucks DM visit today, plus the longest shift in history, plus pure boredom being alone for like the whole day. I came to my moms for my hour lunch to see my little guy and when I left look who peaked out the window to wave bye and look adorable for mama (sorry its so blurry, didn't have time to focus on my cell phone) :

I didnt want to leave him.

I rented movies, picked up stuff for dinner (asparagus again:), and my mom and i decided weve have a girls and Gage movie night :) I rented "The (word i cant remember) Year" with Jack Black, Owen Wilson and Steve Martin- most stupid movie ever; Drive, and Dolphin Tale (my mom wanted to see  that one) needless to say Gage and my mom are both asleep, the only movie part was watched was the stupid one, and Im here writing hoping it will help pass the time. I miss Zac...

Ok, so during the dumb movie, Dave texted me and said you can see zacs boat on the tracker again! I ran to the computer, pulled the link from my favorites, and typed Katie Ann. There they were! Almost to Dutch Harbor (Dutch as the fisherman say it! Zac told me that one:) It was so exciting seeing where they were, it was like I was there with him. I texted him hoping he had service, and Facebook'd him letting him know we saw him and were still praying! He messaged me back a couple hours later saying he loved me, missed gage and i, and how it was the most beautiful place hed ever seen! Hey, maybe we'll move there some day? He went on saying how eagles were landing on there ship and "The Deadliest Catch" boats were there also. He then had to start his first of many 16 hour shifts and would message me tomorrow. I cant wait :) who wouldnt think this is beautiful though?

I wish I was there with him. I miss him and cannot wait til he's home. I'm falling asleep. I need sleep. Gage has been very restless in his sleep about the last week, add his sleeping habits to your prayers too :)

God, i thank you Zac and his boat and crew made it safely. I pray that every trip out and back in for offload is just as safe. I also pray for a successful fishing season and you return Zac and every other person home safely. I know you have him in Your hands. Keep him there always. Thank you

We trust in you Lord,
I love you forever and ever, babe,

Sunday, January 29, 2012

"It's Fun!"

Today was a long day. I worked from 6-2:30. Work was pretty busy which was nice... it helped time pass a little faster. When I got off I went back over to my moms but knew today I was going home! I haven't been home since Zac left.. it seems so weird. My mom was getting ready to go out to her friends that night, Aunt Christa and Sam were being picked up by my Uncle Chris, and Gage and I would be leaving then. My mom let me do her make up :) :

She looked beautiful. Meanwhile, Gage was a busy little bee. He was sitting with Sam and had my phone and although this isn't a good picture, you can see what Gage was doing:

He really misses you, Zac. He kept saying Daa over and over, and touching your face and zooming in and out... he misses you dearly.
Gage was a wild man! After that, he jumped down and ran to my moms room, wanted up on the bed and just sat and smiled:

And then ran in the bathroom where she was getting ready to find hangers:

And then he just looks up st you so cute-ly :

I just love that boy and I know Zac does too... and I know Gage loves us. My mom then left and we come home :) I loaded our car with 5 different laundry baskets full of clothes and other miscellaneous items.

We came home and immediately came into Dave and Shannon's... our neighbors of 20 feet :) She had my favorite meal made... Chicken and walnut crusted Gorgonzola cheese with this Dijon dressing over lettuce with candied walnuts... oh.. my.. word. And she bought us each a cupcake from "Stanwood Cupcakes" for dessert :) Gage was running around like a wild man! He was the man of many hats tonight:

He put Zac's baseball hat on himself. It fell off and Shannon had to help him put it on in this next picture. When I saw this picture I thought "He looks just like Zac!" I showed Shannon and I pulled up a picture to prove it. Zac is gonna probably kill me for this... but just look at those bellies! :

Just look at those pants pulled up over their bellies! I love my boys and I'm proud to call them mine :)

Gage also missed Papa:

And Felix; Gage just wanted to snuggle with him:

Usually Papa and Gage have water together. And they did, but he went over to Grandma and drank it too. Not only did Gage cover himself in water, he covered Shannon too! He would take a drink and then stick his tongue out and blow. Take a look:

Its great being home.. but I still haven't been out to our house. Its weird. My husband isn't out there waiting for me.. and wont be for three to five months. I have to go out and clean and live as normally as I can for Gage and I.. but I just don't want to. We'll see what happens tomorrow!

The reason this post is called "It's Fun" is because of the message Zac sent me yesterday. It doesn't surprise me he'd say this, I was just shocked he actually said it!

hey babe im heading to bed i just switched rooms today with some way cleaner guys im stoked plus we work the same shift and were all friends so its pretty cool i love you guys and miss you tell me how things are going by the way everyone is sooo sick hahah im not though and ya i think my boss is happy with how im working i wanna work on deck like actually do the fishing and nets process but it prob wont happen, i love you so much and ill message you when i get up, also the waves are huge out here its been non-stop crazy weather since we left but its fun and sea sick was a b**** you feel like youre dying haha its weird.but give gagey kisses tell him his daddy loves him and cant wait to spend time with him, and you of course:)

Apparently the Bering Sea waves are fun! I just hope those waves take care of my love. I pray every day that God have those waves on the Katie Ann's side. That the waves don't go against them. Let them arrive in Dutch Harbor safely each time, and then back home again. I was happy to hear he had switched rooms, i think it will make things a lot more enjoyable.

You wouldn't believe how many times I refresh my messages hoping I have a new one from Zac. I have heard from him everyday, which is so amazing! I have pure Joy when i see hes messaged us.

I am so upset because I forgot my book at my moms so i cant write her prayers on here today! But I am going back tomorrow because my gramma is watching Gage Monday so I'll get it then :) I'm gonna go try and clean my room. Will let you know tomorrow!

We Trust in You, Lord,
We love you forever and ever, babe,

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Love is Patient

As I said, last night was a very long night. I was up at 430 this morning to open at my job. I came home just sad I still hadn't heard from Zac.. I am a worry wart.. just ask him :) Gage is teething really bad. So before I came home i bought him Tylenol, milk (loves his bottles still,) and some Popsicles. And oh, boy! did he like those Popsicles!

this was when he first saw it, as he was throwing the ball to Tucker my moms dog.

this was his first taste, and let me tell you- he did not want to stop licking it!

and here is when he was all done and his teeth were a little better :)

My mom had an appointment so it was just Sam, Gage, and I, and we decided to do some runnin' around! I had to go by the bank, Sam wanted Taco Bell with Gage, and then we went to Target because I had to get Gage some more diapers. And still.. no word from Zac. Gage got his first batch of pull-up's today! He has a problem of diapers hanging off him down to his knees after just one pee... so my aunt told me to try these cause they may fit more snug. and they did! here is a pic daa for Gage's first pair! :

It may look like a diaper.. and it is. BUT! its a pull up. We have one up on diapers now :) and they don't sag!

OK, I have to get to the best part of the day. I pretty much check my phone every two minutes for Facebook to say "Messages(1)" because i hoped it was Zac... and today.. it happened! He is ok :)))) He messaged saying he loved Gage and I and sorry he hadn't messaged sooner he had just been throwing up because his acid reflux is so bad! And THEN! In the middle of writing this tonight.. my Facebook made a noise. I asked Sam if he messaged me and he said no, so I looked and it was Zac! So we got to instant message about four messages a piece tonight about midnight on his break! Ah! It felt so good and peaceful and comforting knowing he is doing good out there. He said weather is crazy and waves are huge so it definitely took some getting used to but he was over that part now! Thank you all for so many prayers. There is praying happening from here to Texas and back. It means so much to me and I know Zac and Gage feel the same!

Please add Zacs acid reflux to the prayer list now! That seems to be the worst part for him! Safety, always. I have an early morning again... i have to be up in 4 hours. I think I should go to bed. I am sleeping in peace tonight knowing Zac.. is ok. Gage is ok... and right now, I am ok. God, give me peace. Hold Zac, and let Him know you are there all the time, even in the Bering Sea. Goodnight all. Goodnight my love. Goodnight Lord. Give Zac good dreams and a peaceful mind and a healed stomach.

We trust in you lord.
Love you forever and ever, babe,

Friday, January 27, 2012

Long night

Sorry I didn't do a post last night. I had to open at work this morning and I was so tired... it was  along hard night for Gage and I. This post will be about our day yesterday and tonight I promise to have another written about our day, today.

Yesterday I went back to work. I missed being lazy and wearing nothing but yoga pants and a hoodie. But, on the other hand it was really nice to be busy. I didn't have time to sit and wonder.. or worry. My work day was a short one. I came back to my moms to spend time with my aunt and cousin who are here for just a few more days. And I must say its really nice having Sam here especially. Sam just got back from being on the boats for seven months. So whenever I worry or question why I haven't heard from him, Sam explains whats happening and what Zac is going through then reassures me Zac loves me and he is ok. After I got to my moms we got out of the house and tried to keep busy! We went to Fred Myers and Gage rode the 25 cent horse ride... he didn't know what to think:

And today we also had sun! Its been a long time coming! It seems to have been snow and rain the last month at least! Here was Gage embracing the sun :)

I really miss Zac. Since he left two nights ago, I haven't heard from him again... I have to be understand that he is working 12-16 hours a day, is probably seasick and i know he is tired. I just wished i know from his words that he was ok. That's all i want.

Last night i didn't read my book. I was just too tired. Although I still prayed. I prayed once with Gage as he fell asleep; I prayed when I fell asleep the first time; I prayed every time I thought of it; and I prayed hard last night when I woke up in sheer worry.

I don't know if I had a bad dream or if I'm just overwhelmed. Gage woke up just screaming like he'd had a terrible dream about midnight... I had to be up at 5. I had patience with him, rocked him to sleep, and prayed over him and his sleep. Once Gage fell asleep, I just cried. I cried out to God as tears unloaded. I prayed that God would guide the waves and the ship. I prayed he would clear the men's minds on the ship, especially the captains. I prayed for safe hands, and peace over Katie Ann. I plead the Blood over the boat, and cover it with God's love. And so so much more.

I love you, Zac.

Oh! And this shirt is just for you :) :
"My dads tattoos are cooler than yours." 
I hope I hear from you soon.
Love you forever and ever, babe,

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Sooner You Leave, Sooner You're Home

So! I found out what happened to Zac's boat yesterday and why they were "tugged" back to port, when he called me this morning after his shift! They had water mixed in with the fuel and something was also wrong with the pump! But now it is fixed. And i think that's an absolute answer to prayer that the issue is fixed now instead of the issue happening while there way out in the Bering Sea and have no resources. Thank you, Lord. Zac was very positive after his shift today! He has already moved up! This was what his text read "They trust me to direct other people and get like engineering jobs done like building things on the boat so i make the plans and then direct people to do them." I thought that was just awesome and am so so proud of him! Then Zac went to sleep for hours, and when he woke up the boat still hadn't left... and they still haven. Even when Zac called me and said baby were leaving in about 20 minutes... its now been two hours. And let me tell you I am obsessive about watching that boat radar website. Oh! here is the website before i forget again: www.marinetraffic.com.

Gage and I were busy bees today. We took my Aunt Christa for an appointment down in Puyallup and also picked up my cousin Sam while we were down in that area. Gage just loves him. We came home and were pretty busy after that too... not. Gage did a lot of dancing, shaking, jiggin', and cat beating. Yes, i said cat beating. He loves kitties so so much. Felix and Mittens at home, and Oscar here at my moms. He just loves them so much and wants to squeeze the life out of those pour cats. I hate Oscar and Oscar hates me.. and Zac.. and now Gage. Its an ongoing joke about picking on Oscar.. and we've taught Gage well. Here's pictures to prove it for Zac :) :

Good job Gage! He has also developed a love for ice cream:

This chocolate ring around his lips dried from earlier just cracks me up!

Babe, i miss you.

Today was an overall good day. I have realized that I have absolutely no possible control... and God has all the control, so Ive given it over to Him. That is the only way to get through this and though life.

We listened to this song tonight before bed tonight. It puts Gage to sleep; Zac always does it with Gage, and its one of their favorites:

it was beautiful and peaceful, here is Gage during the song:

Beautiful and peaceful.

We ended our night with a prayer to Da, and this was my prayer I prayed for him today for his mind. I prayed this because he is heading out (soon i hope; the sooner he goes, the sooner hes back:)

I pray for Your protection on my husband's mind. Shield him from the lies of the enemy. Help him to clearly discern between Your voice and any other, and show him to take every thought captive as You have instructed us to do. May he thirst for Your Word and hunger for Your Truth so that he can recognize wrong thinking. Give him strength to resist lying thoughts. Remind him that he has the mind of Christ. Where the enemy's lies have already invaded his thoughts, I push them back by inviting the power of the Holy Spirit to cleanse his mind. Lord, You have given me authority over all the power of the enemy. By that authority given to me in Jesus Christ, I command all lying spirits away from my husbands mind. I proclaim that God has given Zac a sound mind. He will not entertain confusion, but live in clarity. He will not be tormented with impure, evil, negative, or sinful thoughts but be transformed by the renewing of his mind, that he may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of  God. Enable him to be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might. Help him to be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let his requests be made known to You; and may Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard his heart and  mind through Jesus Christ. And finally, whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, having virtue, or anything praiseworthy, let him think on these things.

We trust in you Lord,
Goodnight hunny/daa, we love and miss you,

Katie Ann is Underway... For a Moment

Today I woke up from a phone call from Zac after his 12 hour shift (8PM-8AM.) It was so wonderful to hear his voice :) he is very anxious to get the boat going and get out of port! it finally happened! They left Pier 91! But, they headed south, and the Bering Sea is north so i was a little confused before I got a text from Zac letting me know they were fueling up. I've got to admit, I'm a little obsessed. This ship tracking website is being watched like a movie by me. So I waited and waited to see where the Katie Ann would go next... and when it moved I didn't take my eyes off the screen. And then... they went straight back to Pier 91...with a tug boat following! I am a little panicked to say the least. I cant talk to Zac since the last time around 7 because he started his shift at 8. So, I have been in contact with my cousin Sam who just got off the boat for some reassurance. He said its most likely engine problems, but that its common and to not lose faith, that he is in Gods hands; not my hands or your hands, but Gods hands. Thank you, Sam; Thank you, Lord.

I forgot to share these! Zac sent me pictures of how he set us his room...or top bunk for that matter. He has three other roommates, who apparently don't shower. He is the biggest, but got the top bunk. Pray for a sense of humor and a contest spirit for Zac. Here is his area (:

Here is his bed, showing our some pictures of Gage, Zac, and I. I just love that he did that.

Here is a close up of one side of the picture wall. The other pictures were just of us at our wedding. I just adore you Zac and the husband and father you are and keep becoming.

This picture shows his bunk.. on the top :)

Here is his cubby. Its holding some miscellaneous clothes, bathroom supplies, and beef jerky Dave got for him (which he was thoroughly excited about :)

And there... is there very stylish table and chairs :)

I think it actually looks pretty cozy! I love you Zac, just saying.
It was comforting to me knowing where he was and what he was living in.

On a different note, Gage was a booger today. A very cute booger of course :) As soon as we got off the phone with Zac showing him Gage can say "ish," Gage made an "uh-oh" as he would say. Somehow, he dumped his entire bottle on the tile floor... then proceeded to sit in it and scoot, and sweep his hands through it. That meant automatic bath time. By the way, I am so not happy I didn't get pictures of the mess before I cleaned it up! I almost reenacted it. But here "Da," we took pictures of bath time for you!

Yes, there is that little booty that looks just like his dads! haha :)

This morning, Zac was having a hard time with the fact that hes been on the boat for three days, they haven't left port and they are working for free until they catch fish... he wants to get the show on the road. So I looked in my book ("The Power of a Praying Wife") and looked at the chapter His Attitude only because I don't want him to feel stress or anxiety out there, or ever.

I actually texted him the prayer I prayed today; and it was funny because he asked "Who wrote that prayer, babe?" I said "Its in the book I'm reading, 'The Power of a Praying Wife.'' He then replied shortly after "oh ok because the vocabulary is extensive." He was saying in a nicer-sort-of-way that he knows I didn't write it because i don't use big words like that. haha it made me giggle. But then he also told me how much he appreciated for sending that to him and praying for him.

The prayer reads:

fill Zac with Your love and peace today. May there be a calmness, serenity, and sense of well-being established in him because his life is God-controlled, rather than flesh-controlled. Enable him to walk in his house with a clean and perfect heart before you. Shine the light of Your Spirit upon him and fill Him with your love. I pray that he will be kind and patient, not selfish or easily provoked. Enable him to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things. Release him from anger, unrest, anxiety, concerns, inner turmoil, strife, and pressure. May he not be broken in spirit because of sorrow, but enjoy the continual feast of a merry heart. Give him a spirit of joy and keep him from growing into a grumpy old man. Help him to be anxious for nothing, but give thanks in all things so he can know the peace that passes all understanding. May he come to the point of saying "I have learned in whatever state I am. to be content." I say to Zac this day,"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace."

We Trust in You, Lord.

We love you Zachary,

Monday, January 23, 2012

The Power of a Praying Wife

Today was the first day I didn't see me husband. It was hard but I have complete and total faith our Lord is taking care of Zac, so that made things easier. I started reading "The Power of a Praying Wife" today. I scanned the chapters and found the title reading "His Protection" and immediately started reading there, even though it was chapter 12 :) In this she writes "He promises that he will be 'a shield to those who put their trust in Him'" (Proverbs 30:5). That hit home with me. My little family, Gage included I believe, has total trust in God cause that's all we have right now. I trust you, Lord.

Zac started work on the boat last night at 8PM and worked until 8 this morning. They were supposed to "steam north" (Zac said that's the lingo I need to use to be a fisherman) this morning but has now been postponed until tomorrow at noon. So, more waiting. But! It was great because that meant I got to text him on his phone another day! When his phone loses service we will then switch to email. Every crew member gets a half an hour a day.

I have been trying to keep myself busy to pass the time of missing him so much; so here was mine and Gage's day at a glance!

Gage fell asleep wonderfully last night and me not so much.. I was up til 4 staring at my phone just hoping i would get a "Hi baby" from Zac one more time. But I didn't... he was working so hard and I am so proud of him. But I did eventually :)  Gage and I had a very lazy morning. We have been staying with my mom the last week due to the snow that was here and my aunt and grandma were also here last night to stay and they all disappeared this morning for appointments so it was just my baby and I. We watched Mickey Mouse Club House and ate left over bread sticks for breakfast... followed by an everything bagel. And then I thought to myself Gage has been copying everything lately so I decided to start teaching him words. He knows ball, meow, dad, and mom. I started talking about "Da" and showing him pictures of Zac and him this previous week in the snow. I was telling Gage all about what his dad would be doing for the next 3-5 months. I said "Gager, say 'fish'" and he then said "ish." Zac we will have that down by the time you return :) Shannon then posted a link to my Facebook wall. It was a link where I can track his boat! And let me tell you, that became an obsession of mine for about four hours because I still hadn't heard from him. But then it came... Right after my mom came and hugged me, reassured me Zac was just sleeping and would get back to me when he could my phone made its annoying little noise. It read "Hubby: Hi baby!!!" Ah, I was so excited! And I know ill be that excited every time I get an email or message from him. (I love you.)

On this website, it shows a picture of Katie Ann. Here she is (three years ago):

Since this picture, its all been redone! All new electronics inside and the outside looked much better when I saw it I think.

Tonight we went to my great aunts birthday dinner at Parasio's here in town. We took a picture for Zac after getting ready and sent him this with a message saying "We are so proud of you. We with you were coming with us, love and miss you Daa."

I'm so thankful for my husband. I'm going to start reading my book again. Here is the prayer that followed later in the chapter:

Lord, I pray that You would protect Zac from any accidents, diseases, dangers, or evil influences. Keep him safe, especially in cars and boats. Hide him from violence and the plans of evil people. Wherever he walks, secure his steps. Keep him on Your path so that his feet don't slip (Psalm 17:5). If his foot does slip, hold him up by your mercy (Psalm 94:18). Give him the wisdom and discretion that will help him walk safely and not fall into danger (Proverbs 3:21-23). Be his fortress, strength, shield, and stronghold (Psalm 18:2,3) Make him to dwell in the shadow of Your wings (Psalm 91:1-2). Be his rock, salvation, and defense, so that he will not be moved or shaken (Psalm 62:6). I pray that even though bad things may be happening all around him, they will not come near him (Psalm 91:7). Save him from any plans of the enemy that seek to destroy his life (Psalm 103:4). Preserver his going out and coming in from this time forth and even forevermore (Psalm 121:8).

We trust in You Lord,

Sunday, January 22, 2012

See You Soon, Sailor

Today I drove away from Zac- the love of my life, husband, and father of my 13 month old son and left him on Katie Ann- our new adventure. This all happened so fast, all in Gods timing.

A couple days after Christmas, my cousin Sam, who had just finished a seven month term out on the "Dynasty" mentioned to Zac that he should apply to go on the boats. He went on talking about the  money, food, camaraderie, and humble feeling the boat brought to his life. All appealing. So, Zac applied. A week later, called the recruiter to check on his application. Two days later, called to do the same and she said these life changing words "Can you come in for an interview monday?" "I'll be there, 10 AM sharp," Zac replied. Zac was hired within five minutes of his interview. Orientation then followed later that Thursday and Friday. Saturday was filled with shopping for everything he could possibly need in order to stay clean, healthy and expecially warm on the Bering Sea for a minimum of three months. And Sunday.. I said "see you soon."

I am so proud of the husband and father he already is and the man he keeps becoming. To do this takes heart, drive, selflessness, and so much more.

The only way i am going to endure this long, worried, wait is knowing God has my husband in the palm of His hands; fully protected and safe. I pray everytime this trip pops into my head that God holds him tight and brings him home safely. Feel free to pray the same prayer.

For the last two years Zac has gotten little bits a time done on his tattoo sleeve on his arm. The sleeve started out as an old ship being tossed in the ocean. He then added a message in a bottle. The message reads:

James 1:6- " But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind."

This is the verse I am living by the next three months. God was preparing us. I just happened to be on vacation this week when all of this happened so suddenly. I prayed God's Will throughtout this whole process. And I believe it is, and in Him I have Faith.

Prayers, please.
Brittney and Gage