Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Your Sweet, Sweet Voice

I'm so sorry, again, for those who are following the blog. I have been very bad in not doing this lately. A lot has been going on I wanted to get through before I posted again. So here we are :)

Its crazy how much ive learned to appreciate the little things again. I love Zac's voice. When we first started dating, I lived in Texas and he was here in Washington. All we had was talking. I ran everytime my phone rang, would pick up the phone, and here is the sweetest voice without him even trying, with this almost "smile" like tone in his voice. I have that back. We have been together 4 years this August, married a year in July. Time flies. And its so sad to me that couples lose sight of why they fell in love in the first place. I am in love with my husband. And the reasons why are more apparent to me each and every day. Even though I miss him, this has brought the best out in me, to be the best wife I can. I want to always keep this spark and fire under our relationship. Life happens, fights happen, sleepless nights happen, loss of appreciation happens. Life sets in and we start picking one another a part. And it takes something drastic to bring you back to why youre together in the first place.,, sad, but true.

I pray for not only my marriage, but all couples, that the spark will be kept alive. I pray that we will not let this go again. That we will always have our love in first priority. That instead of getting mad at Zac for putting candy wrappers under the couch, just let it go. Ask yourself this- is it really worth it? Having a marriage fail because of candy wrappers is silly. Not worth it to me :) There are much worse things that could happen.

Here is when Zac and i fell in love: well, a little after. This is when Zac came to texas, wed been dating for about 3 months at this point.

And here are some of my favorites after the last (almost) 4 years:

Still in Texas.

During my senior year.

JSB my senior year.

Zac had this written on my porch when i walked out the door...

And this he did so I could see it frrom my bedroom window...

I just love him, always have.

Halloween 2009

Summer 2010

My silly hubby and big prego me.

RIGHT AFTER  Gage was born...

Taking Gage for his first stroller walk. Now a family :) 3 is better than 2 :)

Spring 2011

Summer 2011

My 20th Birthday in Seattle. Please, look at the mustache. Sexy, huh?

Puyallup Fair 2011

Gage's First snow, after Zacs orientation, his last week here.

The morning I dropped Zac off at the Katie Ann. My goodness I miss his arms around me.

Sorry for all the pictures. I loved looking through them all just now finding my favorites. I just want Zac to know i love him, only him. And i never want to lose what we have. I cant wait to hear from yo again, babe. I cannot wait for the future we have a head of us :)

I love you,
forever and ever, babe.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Love is in the Air

Valentine's Day is coming up... yay. I am excited, but its so bittersweet. This is our fourth one together, our first one as a married couple.. both "yay's." And... he's not here. Boo. But the thing is, i love him more today than i did yesterday; I appreciate him more than I did yesterday; and i want him forever more than I did yesterday. Everyday my love gets stronger and stronger for my man. And im so thankful for that. I may have to spend this day alone, but im not alone.

Zac and I have been throughour ups and downs, good times and bad. At the end of the day there is no one i would rather be to laying next to, calling my husband and best friend, or in our case right now- waiting every second of every day for a message or phone call.

It was so cute, before Zac left he made me promise no one but Gage would be my Valentine here. And of course, i promised. It wont be broken. So this year Gage is not only my Valentine but my mom and grandma have now claimed him too because they are alone as well. When I was Gage's age, my mom and dad werent married yet. So for Valentine's Day my mom took me and we went with my grandma to Giorgio's Pizza... and that's where were going this year again! Gage is coming of course.

I know this post is short, very random, and has no pictures. But its intended for Zac to know i love him and ONLY him, no matter what. Even when we argue, have silly fights, bad hair days and acne, i love you. I am yours and you are mine. So on Tuesday, i'll be asking this question for our fourth year..

Be mine, Valentine?

I love you hunny, no matter what. I hope to hear from you soon.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

I Heard His Voice

I haven't written a post in some time now, and im so sorry, to Zac and all those who are following our adventure. I have had a hard weak to say the least... I hadnt heard from Zac in three days (til today) and my life when into stress/worry/panic mode. It was bad. I have been spilling everything at work, picking fights with my mom, and avoiding this blog and talking about my feelings. I didnt stop praying for Zac or asking for prayer for myself this week. It was a rough one.

Im not sure where I left off on the last one so lets start with some updates, Gage first!

Gage plays peek-a-boo with anyone and everyone now. He will hide himself (usually his face) behind anything. Whether he lifts his shirt over his head or hides behind the shower curtain, he plays. So the game is hell hide himself and you go "where's gaaage??" and he pulls whatever is in front of him away and you say "there he is!" and he just thinks its so funny and he so cute.

He now says "ball," "ba ba," "mama," "da," "pupup" (puppy), and the occasional "cat," and "uv you!"

And Gage can point to where your eyes and nose are on your face, not his yet.

Updates for my husband who I am so proud of:
He got moved to the top deck now, as a combi? i believe its called? Its like a deck hand, a promotion, and its the coolest job ever i guess. I am just so proud of him.

Their Internet is down... and guess how i found that out?? HE CALLED!!! He bought minutes and used the boats satellite phone and called me today! you have no idea the excitement i felt! TOP THREE GREATEST MOMENT  EVER! (One being our marriage, and two, Gage being born, of course:)

I thought my heart was literally gonna beat out of my chest. I couldn't even hardly catch my breath to talk back... i will never forget what it was to hear his voice... it meant so much more than he'll ever know. I am so looking forward to another message or call from him. Im waiting baby.

So  this week I prayed the prayer "His Wife" in my book this week. Its the first prayer in the book, and goodness did i need prayer this week. Here is my prayer:

Lord, help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don't have what it takes to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22,23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me.

Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband. I confess the times I've been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do - totally and completely, no looking back. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing in this marriage. Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin.

Make me my husband's helpmate, companion, champion, friend, and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him. Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul, and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.

I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only You, Lord, are perfect and I look to You to perfect us.

Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create new love between us. Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way he can clearly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3). May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15:5). Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, overlooking each other's faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage. Help us to purpose the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another (Romans 14:19). May we be "perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment" (1 Corinthians 1:10).

Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You've given me. Help me to see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife, and let it be me.

I trust in You Lord,
Also, I have been  gone a while off here, but here is pictures to catch everyone up on our last "however long its been" :)

Gage and Great Aunt Megan at the "Superbowl Party" at Zac's Uncle Todd and Aunt Tarri's :)

Playing with Amy

Daddy's little boy!

On a photo shoot with Auntie MayMay and her friends at the park. He just woke up and was doing his classic face.

There's that smile :)

Cookin up something delicious with Grandma Shannon :)

Playing cowboy with Grandpa Dave :)

Dont worry Zac, Gage is taking care of Hunter for you :)

Me on my way to a photo shoot on a beautiful Washington Day!

Gage and I miss you so so so much Zac! You dont even know!

Sunglasses, really? Yes! it was sunny for like a week!

Gage and I ridin' in the sun wishing zac was here with us!

And after all that, nap time at my moms after my day at work! :) love nap time with my baby boy.
Again, Im so sorry for the long awaited post, forgive me? Post again soon! I am editing all my photo shoots and have another one tomorrow of a little guys birthday!
We love you Zac, Forever and ever, babe,
Britt&Gagers :)

Sunday, February 5, 2012

It's All a Blur

The days seem to be blurring together now. The only reason I know what day of the week it is because its Superbowl and I work tomorrow. Otherwise I wouldnt know night from day. Zac says its like that out there, he doesnt know night from day working his 16.5 hour shifts and then sleeping. That must be weird.

Zac confirmed, we are rooting for the Giants. I told him i was cause i feel like they are the underdogs! and he said yes babe, were rooting for the Giants. We are heading over to Uncle Todd and Aunt Tarri's to watch the game and have some delicious foods! Tomorrow weight watchers officially starts long with p90x with ms sister! My goal is to be what i weighed when Zac and I met, which is A LOT less than i am now lol. This weekend I had a total of three photo shoots! It was such a beautiful weekend here. Now all i do is edit, edit, edit! Gage and I are sitting here watching Mickey Mouse Club house and hes falling asleep while i edit 300 pictures from the first shoot. I love it, but it takes FOREVER!!

Zac says they are up against 65 foot waves! At one point the ship was on stand-by because the weather was too bad to do anything! Keep praying :) Seriously, so many people are praying. God is so good.

Gage went with me on a photo shoot yesterday :) it was just my sister and her two friends... here he is :) This first picture is when he woke up after his LONG nap in the stroller:

i love that pouty face!

i love my little boy.

Gage and I have to stat getting ready for the Superbowl now, look for pictures later along with another post!

We love you Zac and are awaiting a new message! I am constantly praying, constantly faithful, and constantly missing and loving you. Gage is missing you so much.

Forever and ever, babe

Friday, February 3, 2012

His First Catch

Zac and his crew have been out in the Bering Sea fishing for two days now. 16 hour days. "work sleep work sleep work sleep" is exac tly how Zac described it to me. And the everyday message to me i appreciate so much :) Today I got a message from him saying they pulled in their first net this morning at 4 am and that it was so cool! He said that he saw crabs, sting rays, and really awesome fish! I wish he had a camera and was allowed to take pictures for me here at home :) I miss him so much... he asked me if I did... and i reassured him... I miss and and love and want only him. I look forward to hearing from him so much!

Today I had an eight hour closing shift at work. Its been a while since i've closed so it was weird! And LONG. Yesterday I booked two photo shoots. One for tomorrow- two little girls for a Valentine's Day shoot, and the other is later on in the month for a Christian Band. So excited for both! Gage stayed with my mom today while I worked, and when I got off we all head to Michaels for Valentine decor for my shoot tomorrow :) Shannon MADE me a chalk board! how amazing is she? This is exactly what I wanted:

I will be posting pictures late showing how it worked out :)

Gage is just a doll and i know Zac thinks the same :) this is a Mickey Mouse can Santa got him for and... hes standing inside of it...

And in this one he's saying more in sign language! How smart is my little guy? We were either eating or clapping for him and he wanted more :)

And sorry about the picture quality these were all taken on my phone!

Tonight at the end of the night, Tucker was "tuckered" out and Gage wanted to start snuggle time with him:

My eyes are shutting right now... Im sorry this post is so short and random. Thanks for reading. Another one tomorrow! It'll be better I promise :) and i've found my Power of a Praying wife finally! So another prayer :) finally! Good night my love, we miss you.. and love you forever.

Forever and ever,babe,