I Heard His Voice

I haven't written a post in some time now, and im so sorry, to Zac and all those who are following our adventure. I have had a hard weak to say the least... I hadnt heard from Zac in three days (til today) and my life when into stress/worry/panic mode. It was bad. I have been spilling everything at work, picking fights with my mom, and avoiding this blog and talking about my feelings. I didnt stop praying for Zac or asking for prayer for myself this week. It was a rough one.

Im not sure where I left off on the last one so lets start with some updates, Gage first!

Gage plays peek-a-boo with anyone and everyone now. He will hide himself (usually his face) behind anything. Whether he lifts his shirt over his head or hides behind the shower curtain, he plays. So the game is hell hide himself and you go "where's gaaage??" and he pulls whatever is in front of him away and you say "there he is!" and he just thinks its so funny and he so cute.

He now says "ball," "ba ba," "mama," "da," "pupup" (puppy), and the occasional "cat," and "uv you!"

And Gage can point to where your eyes and nose are on your face, not his yet.

Updates for my husband who I am so proud of:
He got moved to the top deck now, as a combi? i believe its called? Its like a deck hand, a promotion, and its the coolest job ever i guess. I am just so proud of him.

Their Internet is down... and guess how i found that out?? HE CALLED!!! He bought minutes and used the boats satellite phone and called me today! you have no idea the excitement i felt! TOP THREE GREATEST MOMENT  EVER! (One being our marriage, and two, Gage being born, of course:)

I thought my heart was literally gonna beat out of my chest. I couldn't even hardly catch my breath to talk back... i will never forget what it was to hear his voice... it meant so much more than he'll ever know. I am so looking forward to another message or call from him. Im waiting baby.

So  this week I prayed the prayer "His Wife" in my book this week. Its the first prayer in the book, and goodness did i need prayer this week. Here is my prayer:

Lord, help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don't have what it takes to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22,23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me.

Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband. I confess the times I've been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do - totally and completely, no looking back. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing in this marriage. Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin.

Make me my husband's helpmate, companion, champion, friend, and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him. Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul, and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.

I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only You, Lord, are perfect and I look to You to perfect us.

Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create new love between us. Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way he can clearly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3). May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15:5). Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, overlooking each other's faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage. Help us to purpose the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another (Romans 14:19). May we be "perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment" (1 Corinthians 1:10).

Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You've given me. Help me to see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife, and let it be me.

I trust in You Lord,

Brittney

Also, I have been  gone a while off here, but here is pictures to catch everyone up on our last "however long its been" :)

Gage and Great Aunt Megan at the "Superbowl Party" at Zac's Uncle Todd and Aunt Tarri's :)

Playing with Amy

Daddy's little boy!

On a photo shoot with Auntie MayMay and her friends at the park. He just woke up and was doing his classic face.

There's that smile :)

Cookin up something delicious with Grandma Shannon :)

Playing cowboy with Grandpa Dave :)

Dont worry Zac, Gage is taking care of Hunter for you :)

Me on my way to a photo shoot on a beautiful Washington Day!

Gage and I miss you so so so much Zac! You dont even know!

Sunglasses, really? Yes! it was sunny for like a week!

Gage and I ridin' in the sun wishing zac was here with us!

And after all that, nap time at my moms after my day at work! :) love nap time with my baby boy.

Again, Im so sorry for the long awaited post, forgive me? Post again soon! I am editing all my photo shoots and have another one tomorrow of a little guys birthday!

We love you Zac, Forever and ever, babe,

Britt&Gagers :)