Long Overdue Update

Exactly what the title says: this is a LONG OVERDUE update. I'm gonna give you updates on us all Zac, Gage and I :) stuff thats happening in the family and so on..

Zac is doing amazing. I cant tell him enough or anyone i talk to about him how proud i truly now. Words cant even describe.  Most 23 year old men arent married with a child.. and if they do have a child, most dont take responsibilty (sorry for being so blunt.) Where Zac and I are today did not happen over night. I am so proud of who he is as a person, husband, father, friend, and son. I love him. Last week Zac worked 36 hours straight, slept for two hours then went back to work for another 17 hours.... you have no idea how bad that hit home with me. I catch myself saying 'i dont wanna go to work, its gonna be the LONGEST DAY' waah waah self. The most i work is 8 hours in a day. I have a whole new level of respect for my husband. Hes been in Dutch Harbor twice now to off load and hes called me both times from his friends phone! Oh my goodness it was so good to talk. On my facebook earlier this week i said something about being missed/missing zac is bittersweet. I of course want my husband home and want to be with him this instant. But there is something about being missed that is so special. It lets you know the person cares, wants you, etc. I have never been so secure in my life knowing how Zac really feels. And getting the chance to miss him i learn more and more everyday how strong my feelings are and that i want to spend my life with him and no one else.

Ok, on to Gage. This little man is hilarious, loving, crazy, and slightly starting to test his limits. In Zac's parents' house, they have a wood stove. The stove sits on stone that stratches out about two feet farther. Gage used to NEVER even touch the harth (the stone ground.) and now.... one day he put one finger, then a foot, then stood on it.. all while looking at me knowing he shouldnt be. I let him do it because i didnt want to yell now, possibly startling him and him falling or anthting like that. I walked over to him, lifeted him off and proceeded to explain that he could get hurt, that the stove his hot, and so on. Now were all doing this. He does it at least once a day. Oh, while were on the topic- Gage was saying ha- for hot, hes now added the "t" at the end and has turned it into a full "hot" just as of last night.

Gages vocabulsry now consits of:
Bumpa- Grandpa
Ma- Grandma
Mama- Mom
Da- Dad
Chalk
Elbow (he has a serious fetish with biting them...weird, i know)
Baba- Bottle
Ball


He will soon be saying full sentences. I want so badly for him to be able to say "I love you Da" by the time he gets home. I think that would be the most amazing welcome home present EVER.

Gage is a fun-loving crack up who does the River Dance. Thats the best sum i can come up with.

And i am boring- nothing new with me. I am trying to get my photography buisness set in stone and make investments into my buisness. i want a professional grade website, a new lens to get the look and capture my style i want to portray perfectly. I am getting my prices, and guidlines all set in stone so not only clients take me seriously, but so i take myself seriously. I am excited for this journey and hope i can continue to learn and grow. I am still only working 3 days a week which i am loving because of all this time i have with Gage now. its amazing. I am counting down the days til i turn 21 and Zac and i get to take our fun Vegas trip. And most importantly, i am striving everyday to be a better wife and mother than i was the day before. i love my little family.

I love you Zac, forever and ever.
Im glad you feel the same.

Your Sweet, Sweet Voice

I'm so sorry, again, for those who are following the blog. I have been very bad in not doing this lately. A lot has been going on I wanted to get through before I posted again. So here we are :)

Its crazy how much ive learned to appreciate the little things again. I love Zac's voice. When we first started dating, I lived in Texas and he was here in Washington. All we had was talking. I ran everytime my phone rang, would pick up the phone, and here is the sweetest voice without him even trying, with this almost "smile" like tone in his voice. I have that back. We have been together 4 years this August, married a year in July. Time flies. And its so sad to me that couples lose sight of why they fell in love in the first place. I am in love with my husband. And the reasons why are more apparent to me each and every day. Even though I miss him, this has brought the best out in me, to be the best wife I can. I want to always keep this spark and fire under our relationship. Life happens, fights happen, sleepless nights happen, loss of appreciation happens. Life sets in and we start picking one another a part. And it takes something drastic to bring you back to why youre together in the first place.,, sad, but true.

I pray for not only my marriage, but all couples, that the spark will be kept alive. I pray that we will not let this go again. That we will always have our love in first priority. That instead of getting mad at Zac for putting candy wrappers under the couch, just let it go. Ask yourself this- is it really worth it? Having a marriage fail because of candy wrappers is silly. Not worth it to me :) There are much worse things that could happen.

Here is when Zac and i fell in love: well, a little after. This is when Zac came to texas, wed been dating for about 3 months at this point.

And here are some of my favorites after the last (almost) 4 years:

Still in Texas.

During my senior year.

JSB my senior year.

Zac had this written on my porch when i walked out the door...

And this he did so I could see it frrom my bedroom window...

I just love him, always have.

Halloween 2009

Summer 2010

My silly hubby and big prego me.

RIGHT AFTER  Gage was born...

Taking Gage for his first stroller walk. Now a family :) 3 is better than 2 :)

Spring 2011

Summer 2011

My 20th Birthday in Seattle. Please, look at the mustache. Sexy, huh?

Puyallup Fair 2011

Gage's First snow, after Zacs orientation, his last week here.

The morning I dropped Zac off at the Katie Ann. My goodness I miss his arms around me.

Sorry for all the pictures. I loved looking through them all just now finding my favorites. I just want Zac to know i love him, only him. And i never want to lose what we have. I cant wait to hear from yo again, babe. I cannot wait for the future we have a head of us :)

I love you,

forever and ever, babe.

Love is in the Air

Valentine's Day is coming up... yay. I am excited, but its so bittersweet. This is our fourth one together, our first one as a married couple.. both "yay's." And... he's not here. Boo. But the thing is, i love him more today than i did yesterday; I appreciate him more than I did yesterday; and i want him forever more than I did yesterday. Everyday my love gets stronger and stronger for my man. And im so thankful for that. I may have to spend this day alone, but im not alone.

Zac and I have been throughour ups and downs, good times and bad. At the end of the day there is no one i would rather be to laying next to, calling my husband and best friend, or in our case right now- waiting every second of every day for a message or phone call.

It was so cute, before Zac left he made me promise no one but Gage would be my Valentine here. And of course, i promised. It wont be broken. So this year Gage is not only my Valentine but my mom and grandma have now claimed him too because they are alone as well. When I was Gage's age, my mom and dad werent married yet. So for Valentine's Day my mom took me and we went with my grandma to Giorgio's Pizza... and that's where were going this year again! Gage is coming of course.

I know this post is short, very random, and has no pictures. But its intended for Zac to know i love him and ONLY him, no matter what. Even when we argue, have silly fights, bad hair days and acne, i love you. I am yours and you are mine. So on Tuesday, i'll be asking this question for our fourth year..

Be mine, Valentine?

I love you hunny, no matter what. I hope to hear from you soon.

I Heard His Voice

I haven't written a post in some time now, and im so sorry, to Zac and all those who are following our adventure. I have had a hard weak to say the least... I hadnt heard from Zac in three days (til today) and my life when into stress/worry/panic mode. It was bad. I have been spilling everything at work, picking fights with my mom, and avoiding this blog and talking about my feelings. I didnt stop praying for Zac or asking for prayer for myself this week. It was a rough one.

Im not sure where I left off on the last one so lets start with some updates, Gage first!

Gage plays peek-a-boo with anyone and everyone now. He will hide himself (usually his face) behind anything. Whether he lifts his shirt over his head or hides behind the shower curtain, he plays. So the game is hell hide himself and you go "where's gaaage??" and he pulls whatever is in front of him away and you say "there he is!" and he just thinks its so funny and he so cute.

He now says "ball," "ba ba," "mama," "da," "pupup" (puppy), and the occasional "cat," and "uv you!"

And Gage can point to where your eyes and nose are on your face, not his yet.

Updates for my husband who I am so proud of:
He got moved to the top deck now, as a combi? i believe its called? Its like a deck hand, a promotion, and its the coolest job ever i guess. I am just so proud of him.

Their Internet is down... and guess how i found that out?? HE CALLED!!! He bought minutes and used the boats satellite phone and called me today! you have no idea the excitement i felt! TOP THREE GREATEST MOMENT  EVER! (One being our marriage, and two, Gage being born, of course:)

I thought my heart was literally gonna beat out of my chest. I couldn't even hardly catch my breath to talk back... i will never forget what it was to hear his voice... it meant so much more than he'll ever know. I am so looking forward to another message or call from him. Im waiting baby.

So  this week I prayed the prayer "His Wife" in my book this week. Its the first prayer in the book, and goodness did i need prayer this week. Here is my prayer:

Lord, help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don't have what it takes to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22,23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me.

Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband. I confess the times I've been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do - totally and completely, no looking back. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing in this marriage. Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin.

Make me my husband's helpmate, companion, champion, friend, and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him. Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul, and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.

I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only You, Lord, are perfect and I look to You to perfect us.

Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create new love between us. Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way he can clearly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3). May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15:5). Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, overlooking each other's faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage. Help us to purpose the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another (Romans 14:19). May we be "perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment" (1 Corinthians 1:10).

Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You've given me. Help me to see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife, and let it be me.

I trust in You Lord,

Brittney

Also, I have been  gone a while off here, but here is pictures to catch everyone up on our last "however long its been" :)

Gage and Great Aunt Megan at the "Superbowl Party" at Zac's Uncle Todd and Aunt Tarri's :)

Playing with Amy

Daddy's little boy!

On a photo shoot with Auntie MayMay and her friends at the park. He just woke up and was doing his classic face.

There's that smile :)

Cookin up something delicious with Grandma Shannon :)

Playing cowboy with Grandpa Dave :)

Dont worry Zac, Gage is taking care of Hunter for you :)

Me on my way to a photo shoot on a beautiful Washington Day!

Gage and I miss you so so so much Zac! You dont even know!

Sunglasses, really? Yes! it was sunny for like a week!

Gage and I ridin' in the sun wishing zac was here with us!

And after all that, nap time at my moms after my day at work! :) love nap time with my baby boy.

Again, Im so sorry for the long awaited post, forgive me? Post again soon! I am editing all my photo shoots and have another one tomorrow of a little guys birthday!

We love you Zac, Forever and ever, babe,

Britt&Gagers :)

It's All a Blur

The days seem to be blurring together now. The only reason I know what day of the week it is because its Superbowl and I work tomorrow. Otherwise I wouldnt know night from day. Zac says its like that out there, he doesnt know night from day working his 16.5 hour shifts and then sleeping. That must be weird.

Zac confirmed, we are rooting for the Giants. I told him i was cause i feel like they are the underdogs! and he said yes babe, were rooting for the Giants. We are heading over to Uncle Todd and Aunt Tarri's to watch the game and have some delicious foods! Tomorrow weight watchers officially starts long with p90x with ms sister! My goal is to be what i weighed when Zac and I met, which is A LOT less than i am now lol. This weekend I had a total of three photo shoots! It was such a beautiful weekend here. Now all i do is edit, edit, edit! Gage and I are sitting here watching Mickey Mouse Club house and hes falling asleep while i edit 300 pictures from the first shoot. I love it, but it takes FOREVER!!

Zac says they are up against 65 foot waves! At one point the ship was on stand-by because the weather was too bad to do anything! Keep praying :) Seriously, so many people are praying. God is so good.

Gage went with me on a photo shoot yesterday :) it was just my sister and her two friends... here he is :) This first picture is when he woke up after his LONG nap in the stroller:

i love that pouty face!

i love my little boy.

Gage and I have to stat getting ready for the Superbowl now, look for pictures later along with another post!

We love you Zac and are awaiting a new message! I am constantly praying, constantly faithful, and constantly missing and loving you. Gage is missing you so much.

Forever and ever, babe

Britt&Gagey

His First Catch

Zac and his crew have been out in the Bering Sea fishing for two days now. 16 hour days. "work sleep work sleep work sleep" is exac tly how Zac described it to me. And the everyday message to me i appreciate so much :) Today I got a message from him saying they pulled in their first net this morning at 4 am and that it was so cool! He said that he saw crabs, sting rays, and really awesome fish! I wish he had a camera and was allowed to take pictures for me here at home :) I miss him so much... he asked me if I did... and i reassured him... I miss and and love and want only him. I look forward to hearing from him so much!

Today I had an eight hour closing shift at work. Its been a while since i've closed so it was weird! And LONG. Yesterday I booked two photo shoots. One for tomorrow- two little girls for a Valentine's Day shoot, and the other is later on in the month for a Christian Band. So excited for both! Gage stayed with my mom today while I worked, and when I got off we all head to Michaels for Valentine decor for my shoot tomorrow :) Shannon MADE me a chalk board! how amazing is she? This is exactly what I wanted:

I will be posting pictures late showing how it worked out :)

Gage is just a doll and i know Zac thinks the same :) this is a Mickey Mouse can Santa got him for and... hes standing inside of it...

And in this one he's saying more in sign language! How smart is my little guy? We were either eating or clapping for him and he wanted more :)

And sorry about the picture quality these were all taken on my phone!

Tonight at the end of the night, Tucker was "tuckered" out and Gage wanted to start snuggle time with him:



My eyes are shutting right now... Im sorry this post is so short and random. Thanks for reading. Another one tomorrow! It'll be better I promise :) and i've found my Power of a Praying wife finally! So another prayer :) finally! Good night my love, we miss you.. and love you forever.

Forever and ever,babe,

Britt&Gage

Dutch

This is a post to cover yesterday and today! I've been back to work so everything is cramming in! But doing this for Zac is a priority. It helps me get through my days, too. And i just love the idea of having this for Zac. Yesterday was a good day. Zac told me they would be arriving in Dutch Harbor, AK sometime shortly, which made me happy because it meant they made their first trek safe. I came home and had a great night with Dave and Shannon, and Gage of course. Shannon and I had a date too watch "The Bachelor" and we cooked! I made roasted seasoned asparagus and she made these amazing taco cups :) We just had a wonderful night altogether. I am a little upset though. I took so many great pictures last night and my camera is at home still and I'm at my moms :( so i will post them on here as soon as i go home. But we cant not have pictures! so here's a couple that i forgot to post of Gage since Zac has been gone:

hes my little boy now, not my baby :(

I'm always catching him in Tucker's dog food. I haven't caught him eating yet thank goodness!

Yesterday, Zac told me he was proud to be my husband. And that hit home with me. Someone saying they're proud of me has always touched my heart... but coming from the love of your life it was relationship- changing in a way. I felt so loved (even more) by the person I am so proud to call my husband.Thank you for saying that baby, it meant more that you will ever know.

Yesterday morning was the last message I had received from Zac, and I had been getting them about twice a day... so I got a little worried. Which i shouldn't, God is taking care of him. And I know this. But then today around 11.... Facebook said "Messages (1)" I PRAYED IT WAS HIM! And it was. He let me know he loved Gage and I, that he looked forward to seeing us soon; that they would be reaching Dutch Harbor today and that he started working 16 hour days tonight, bumping it up from 12. He also told me it was cold. I assured him that anything he needed and couldn't buy on the boat just to let me know and I would have a package mailed immediately. It was so nice hearing from him during my LONG day at work. We had our Starbucks DM visit today, plus the longest shift in history, plus pure boredom being alone for like the whole day. I came to my moms for my hour lunch to see my little guy and when I left look who peaked out the window to wave bye and look adorable for mama (sorry its so blurry, didn't have time to focus on my cell phone) :

I didnt want to leave him.

I rented movies, picked up stuff for dinner (asparagus again:), and my mom and i decided weve have a girls and Gage movie night :) I rented "The (word i cant remember) Year" with Jack Black, Owen Wilson and Steve Martin- most stupid movie ever; Drive, and Dolphin Tale (my mom wanted to see  that one) needless to say Gage and my mom are both asleep, the only movie part was watched was the stupid one, and Im here writing hoping it will help pass the time. I miss Zac...

Ok, so during the dumb movie, Dave texted me and said you can see zacs boat on the tracker again! I ran to the computer, pulled the link from my favorites, and typed Katie Ann. There they were! Almost to Dutch Harbor (Dutch as the fisherman say it! Zac told me that one:) It was so exciting seeing where they were, it was like I was there with him. I texted him hoping he had service, and Facebook'd him letting him know we saw him and were still praying! He messaged me back a couple hours later saying he loved me, missed gage and i, and how it was the most beautiful place hed ever seen! Hey, maybe we'll move there some day? He went on saying how eagles were landing on there ship and "The Deadliest Catch" boats were there also. He then had to start his first of many 16 hour shifts and would message me tomorrow. I cant wait :) who wouldnt think this is beautiful though?

I wish I was there with him. I miss him and cannot wait til he's home. I'm falling asleep. I need sleep. Gage has been very restless in his sleep about the last week, add his sleeping habits to your prayers too :)

God, i thank you Zac and his boat and crew made it safely. I pray that every trip out and back in for offload is just as safe. I also pray for a successful fishing season and you return Zac and every other person home safely. I know you have him in Your hands. Keep him there always. Thank you

We trust in you Lord,

I love you forever and ever, babe,

Britt&Gage







"It's Fun!"

Today was a long day. I worked from 6-2:30. Work was pretty busy which was nice... it helped time pass a little faster. When I got off I went back over to my moms but knew today I was going home! I haven't been home since Zac left.. it seems so weird. My mom was getting ready to go out to her friends that night, Aunt Christa and Sam were being picked up by my Uncle Chris, and Gage and I would be leaving then. My mom let me do her make up :) :

She looked beautiful. Meanwhile, Gage was a busy little bee. He was sitting with Sam and had my phone and although this isn't a good picture, you can see what Gage was doing:

He really misses you, Zac. He kept saying Daa over and over, and touching your face and zooming in and out... he misses you dearly.
Gage was a wild man! After that, he jumped down and ran to my moms room, wanted up on the bed and just sat and smiled:

And then ran in the bathroom where she was getting ready to find hangers:

And then he just looks up st you so cute-ly :

I just love that boy and I know Zac does too... and I know Gage loves us. My mom then left and we come home :) I loaded our car with 5 different laundry baskets full of clothes and other miscellaneous items.

We came home and immediately came into Dave and Shannon's... our neighbors of 20 feet :) She had my favorite meal made... Chicken and walnut crusted Gorgonzola cheese with this Dijon dressing over lettuce with candied walnuts... oh.. my.. word. And she bought us each a cupcake from "Stanwood Cupcakes" for dessert :) Gage was running around like a wild man! He was the man of many hats tonight:



He put Zac's baseball hat on himself. It fell off and Shannon had to help him put it on in this next picture. When I saw this picture I thought "He looks just like Zac!" I showed Shannon and I pulled up a picture to prove it. Zac is gonna probably kill me for this... but just look at those bellies! :

Just look at those pants pulled up over their bellies! I love my boys and I'm proud to call them mine :)

Gage also missed Papa:

And Felix; Gage just wanted to snuggle with him:



Usually Papa and Gage have water together. And they did, but he went over to Grandma and drank it too. Not only did Gage cover himself in water, he covered Shannon too! He would take a drink and then stick his tongue out and blow. Take a look:

Its great being home.. but I still haven't been out to our house. Its weird. My husband isn't out there waiting for me.. and wont be for three to five months. I have to go out and clean and live as normally as I can for Gage and I.. but I just don't want to. We'll see what happens tomorrow!

The reason this post is called "It's Fun" is because of the message Zac sent me yesterday. It doesn't surprise me he'd say this, I was just shocked he actually said it!

hey babe im heading to bed i just switched rooms today with some way cleaner guys im stoked plus we work the same shift and were all friends so its pretty cool i love you guys and miss you tell me how things are going by the way everyone is sooo sick hahah im not though and ya i think my boss is happy with how im working i wanna work on deck like actually do the fishing and nets process but it prob wont happen, i love you so much and ill message you when i get up, also the waves are huge out here its been non-stop crazy weather since we left but its fun and sea sick was a b**** you feel like youre dying haha its weird.but give gagey kisses tell him his daddy loves him and cant wait to spend time with him, and you of course:)

Apparently the Bering Sea waves are fun! I just hope those waves take care of my love. I pray every day that God have those waves on the Katie Ann's side. That the waves don't go against them. Let them arrive in Dutch Harbor safely each time, and then back home again. I was happy to hear he had switched rooms, i think it will make things a lot more enjoyable.

You wouldn't believe how many times I refresh my messages hoping I have a new one from Zac. I have heard from him everyday, which is so amazing! I have pure Joy when i see hes messaged us.

I am so upset because I forgot my book at my moms so i cant write her prayers on here today! But I am going back tomorrow because my gramma is watching Gage Monday so I'll get it then :) I'm gonna go try and clean my room. Will let you know tomorrow!

We Trust in You, Lord,

We love you forever and ever, babe,

Britt&Gage